Lowering My Expectations

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I find myself desperately poor, I don’t even have enough money to get a haircut or pay my cell phone bill. But I can afford to go on three dates, with Simone de Beauvoir, Armistead Maupin and one of my great loves Edmund White.

I Won on Fanduel

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I chose my NFL team and deposited $25 into my fanduel account this weekend, entering 2 $10 tournaments and one $5 tournament. I won $18 in each of the $10 tourneys, and I was ranked in the money to win $12.50 in the big $5 tournament, but got pushed out by Tom Brady’s success in the late game :( Julio Jones and Eddie Lacey helped me out, Roll Tide! But if I had simply chosen Peyton Manning and Gronk (who just scored a TD) instead of Drew Brees and Jimmy Graham I would have won around $100. Next week 1st place $7500!

Contest Cap Score Opponent Entry Fee Winnings
Rookie NFL 50/50 League $60k 105.84 (6 of 20) Tournament $10 $18
NFL 50/50 League $60K 99.96 (16 of 50) 50 player league $10 $18
$75k NFL Rush $75k 106.64 (3484 of 17239) Tournament $5 $0

POS 6
saintsntidefan
SCORE
105.84
QB Drew Brees
TB 31 @ NO 37 FINAL
$9100
19.74
RB Eddie Lacy
MIN 10 @ GB 42 FINAL
$7600
SALARY
26.7
RBLeSean McCoy
STL 28 @ PHI 34 FINAL
$8300
8.6
WR Brandon Marshall
CHI 24 @ CAR 31 FINAL
5.9
WRAnquan Boldin
KC 17 @ SF 22 FINAL
$6000
SALARY
9.2
WR Marques Colston
TB 31 @ NO 37 FINAL
$5500
SALARY
7.8
TE Jason Witten
HOU 17 @ DAL 20 FINAL
$6000
SALARY
7.9
K Shayne Graham
TB 31 @ NO 37 FINAL
$4500
SALARY
12
D Tampa Bay Buccaneers
TB 31 @ NO 37 FINAL
$4600
SALARY
8

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EPA USA AMERICAN FOOTBALL NFL SPO AMERICAN FOOTBALL USA WI

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Who wouldn’t be proud to call me their son now?

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An enlightening story from a man who grew up in the foster care system and aged out without being adopted. Take the five minutes to listen to his story, and you’ll be glad you did. If you don’t have the time to watch the whole video, scroll to the 5:28 mark and watch until the end. #adoptuskids

I am Mary Tyler Moore! (ish)

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I’ve always wanted to live in Manhattan, if only for a year, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. While I was not-legally-married to a man with money for a decade, it was more his than mine. I am a social worker by trade, so a cute little studio in the Village just ain’t happenin’, due to budgetary constraints…and I also have two hairy gremlins that depend on me. I have made the move to Miami though, and while it’s not New York, I still feel very Mary Tyler Moore-ish, getting my own little place, working in a big city, being independent…I’m gonna make it after all!

Here I am South Beach!

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I’ve signed a 6-month lease on 10th St. in the heart of South Beach, 2 blocks from Lincoln and Collins and 3 blocks from the beach. The apartment is tiny (350 square feet) and the rent is half of my monthly slave wages, but it comes with a big built-in bookshelf and a pink bathtub (where I do most of my reading). I am excited! I have always wanted to be in the center of the action, and apart from New York, that’s Miami. Job:check. Apartment: check. Next up: Boyfriend.

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Forever Young – Alphaville

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Just sitting at home on Saturday night, lonely and bored, watching the prom scene from Napoleon Dynamite, where Forever Young and Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time” are playing. #pedro4president

A Child Who Had Never Heard of the Tooth Fairy

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I’ve started a new job in Miami, and it’s been pretty rough. I’ve had a lot of cases thrown at me. I was doing a visit at this group home in Hialeah with this cute 8 year-old, and immediately noticed his front tooth was missing. I asked him if the Tooth Fairy had brought him any money, and his response was “What is that?” I explained who she was to him, then discreetly gave the house mother $ 3 and whisper-requested that the Tooth Fairy please come for him tonight. The whole thing made me sad, he’s such a great funny little kid. He obviously never had anyone who cared enough or was thoughtful enough explain who the Tooth Fairy was, either his parents or his foster care placements.

Chasing Toilets

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At my job the back is off of all the toilets, and they won’t flush unless you reach in and pull up on the wire. People leave little love notes for the homosexuals as well.

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Michael Botticelli

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Botticelli

Michael P. Botticelli (born January 2, 1958) is an American public official. He serves as the Acting Director of the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy.

Obama’s Drug Czar is both a recovering alcoholic and known homosexual! Very Harvey Milk-ish…John Jernigan-Botticelli

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The Fabulous Sylvester – Joshua Gamson

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Every DJ and drag queen and anybody in the music industry, hell any creative person or artist or outcast or flaming homosexual or log cabin Republican should read this great biography, about the fabulous Sylvester, the stylish and classy singer. Sylvester loved nothing more than being mistaken for Josephine Baker or Billie Holiday…or at least for a beautiful fish covering their songs.

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from The Fabulous Sylvester – “When most of the girls, Disquotay members or not, grew dissatisfied with water balloon bosoms and towel hips, a lot of them took hormones, since as Duchess tells it “everyone wanted titties and the soft hip flow.” Dooni, the future Sylvester, taught them how to whittle pieces of foam with a razor blade, tapering them down the thigh and up toward the waist. They would cut the rear out of a girdle and insert a foam ass and hips, sometimes getting ready for a party would not be unlike suiting up for a football game.”

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“Some of the queens, like Diane Moorehead and Jackie Hoyle, had jobs to get “pennis for our fashions” using their pay to buy material, beads, wigs. Some were too effeminate to be employable, as Jackie put it “Ain’t nobody going to hire you with no eyebrows.”

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“Hibiscus wore a gold lamp shade, coconut halves for breasts, and a grass skirt with nothing underneath. Kreemah sported a platinum wig done up with red feathers, and a red Empire velvet dress, and danced tango-style with one of the satin palm trees. Harlow’s natural blonde hair fell in pre-Raphealite cascades. She wore emeralds at her ears and neck, and a backless silver satin gown cut low in front, and a white fur fox draped over her shoulders that allowed her to discreetly flash her breasts. Dusty Dawn wore pigtails and a sailor blouse, and swayed to the music while exposing her breasts. Scrumbly also flashed, lifting his hoop skirt to jump through a hula hoop.”

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“People still look at me as some kind of spokesman, Sylvester told the New Musical Express in 1982, but I think my career has transcended the gay movement. I mean my sexuality has nothing to do with my music. When I’m fucking I’m not thinking about singing.” The opposite was actually true, he was recording on the gayest record label on Earth, where free people and music were entwined like the roots of a tree.

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“A lot of people didn’t recognize Sylvester at first, what with the hat, the wheelchair, the emaciation. It’s Sylvester, you’d hear, and cheers would begin. It’s Sylvester! Obviously he was very sick, obviously he had AIDS, obviously he was dying. You’d see people put hands on their mouths, tears, cheers, silence, Sylvester!”

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“Sylvester’s hair was bright red and his lips painted pink and his brown face made up tastefully for an evening occassion, his tall body wrapped in a gold embroidered red kimono. Everyone agreed he looked like Sylvester. Everyone agreed he would be pleased to be such a sight to behold. He looked like a sleeping little boy, dreaming himself into being. He looked slim, with the body of a teenaged Dooni who had banged tambourines and roller skated – so ridiculous, so unafraid – down a South Central street. He looked like a film star or princess, taken tragically before her time. Flawless, on a Monday.”

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What’s That Smell?

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Whenever I bake something or cook something on slow roast for a couple of hours Cricket loses her damn mind… she can smell it but she can’t see it. She goes over by the oven and whines and sometimes she’ll bark.

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I Got Life – Nina Simone vs. Everyday – Kim English

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Woke up this clear blue morning and I am feeling good. Rather than whining about what I don’t have, look at all I do have: my health, my empathy, my compassion, my books, my education, my capacity to love. Also, the two great loves of my life are cuddled up in bed with me right now.

I Got Life

Ain’t got no mother, ain’t got no culture
Ain’t got no friends, ain’t got no schooling
Ain’t got no love, ain’t got no name
Ain’t got no ticket, ain’t got no token
Ain’t got no God

Then what have I got
Why am I alive anyway?
Yeah, what have I got
Nobody can take away

Got my hair, got my head
Got my brains, got my ears
Got my eyes, got my nose
Got my mouth, I got my smile

I got my tongue, got my chin
Got my neck, got my boobs
Got my heart, got my soul
Got my back, I got my sex

I got my arms, got my hands
Got my fingers, got my legs
Got my feet, got my toes
Got my liver, got my blood

I’ve got life
I’ve got my freedom
I’ve got life

Everyday

When I look around I cannot take for granted
Things given to me the favor I’ve been handed
All the miracles and wonders I have witnessed
I do not guess – I know that I am truly blessed

I must keep the faith, no matter what I’m seeing
‘Cuz that’s the key unlocking or receiving
The impossible taking place in my life
The greatest steps ascending through those higher heights

I got my health, I got my strength, I’m in my right mind
I still have breath so I got hope that love is on my side
And where I go I know I need not look behind me
He keeps me safe and this is something he does everyday

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Jameis Winston Still Skrong Den!

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5ac

Bessemer Alabama’s finest Jameis Winston suspended for 1st half of Saturday’s game with Clemson after climbing up on a table in the school cafeteria and yelling this Wheel of Fortune saying…he can’t read either, mildly retarded :(

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