My move to Fort Lauderdale is a resounding flop so far. My job is not fun. I have tried to make two different men the object of my affection, failing miserably. The first guy appears to be in a happy, committed relationship with someone else. wtf? My clumsy attempt to romance him led to one of the most embarassing nights of my life. I truly thought we were on a dinner date. He said no, just friends, good day! Later on in the date that he said was not-a-date, I tried to lean in for a romantic kiss. He ducked away, gave me an are-you-crazy look, and left soon after. The second guy just flaked on me. He acted like meeting me was no big deal, so casual, whatever. I am beginning to realize that gay men here are of such quantity and availability and promiscuity that he probably doesn’t have to work hard to catch someone, why should he? He lives in a “gay village” with thousands of swinging dicks at his perusal. He lives right on Wilton Drive, walks to the bars and shit, and shares a condo with his “ex ” wtf?
So Friday I’m out doing a daycare visit to see one of my children, I am sad, low, pessimistic, depressed. I am resigned to being alone, alone. Is Mr. Right out there for me? Probably not, and let’s face it, what man ( who fits my criteria & type ) would put up with all my bullshit and eccentricities and neediness? I’m in the hood somewhere near Pompano and like Commercial Blvd. I see a thrift store sharing a parking lot with a pawn shop and a check cashing store and decide to check it out. I find almost brand new hardback copies of House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer and The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls, .50 cents each, $1 !!! I’m a little surprised by how happy finding these books makes me…but I’ll take what I can get. I’ll also concede there’s probably not a man out there who would appreciate my appreciation of these books.