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Trailer Park Thursday

I started today with $12 in cash, negative $65 in checking, my one credit card maxed at $750, all silver scrounged and spent, gas tank on E. I had court for two of my teenagers at 9:30, and I was unfortunately stuck taking them back to their schools after. Their schools are far, far, far…in Weston and Miramar. I put $7 gas in the car, 595 to 75 and it’s crackin.’ Drop off my lovely charges and put the office address into my GPS…crap, a toll booth looms: $1.25 gone, wasted. By the time I get to the office my car says I can go zero miles, back on E. I have $3 and change, nothing to eat at home, so I stop at the Dollar Tree on Broward. This is the most hood-est Dollar Tree of them all. I have never been in without getting panhandled hard. “Big man, let me holler at ya!” “Nephew! ” Their carts have long poles attached to them so they can’t be pushed out the front door. So let me peruse the bountiful selection. Bar S is widely known as the best quality Polish sausage, practically the filet-mignon of  meat by-products…says made with Chicken, Beef and Pork to include mechanically separated chicken pieces and beef hearts, yum. Then I want some bread to make sandwiches with my meat, so I settle on these Marie Callender cheese biscuits…I wanted a cornbread mix or something, but all the other breads in a bag require eggs and milk and oil and whatnot…finally, everyone’s favorite snack: Bugles, Nacho Cheese Bugles, ya heard?  I head home, pan fry my sausages till they are kinda blackish, bake my biscuits, drown ’em in hot sauce, it’s all good. Payday is after midnight, my car can make it just down the street to the gas station because it’s a BMW, ya heard? Gots extra reserve gas for individuals that might otherwise run out…and my little pot belly is full…maybe I could get me a 2nd job at Dollar Tree?  that’s what’s up for real, fancy, I would have first dibs on all of the fabulous merchandise…my stomach is starting to hurt, Dollar Tree food poisoning?

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