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Life Skills 101

My plan for the holiday weekend was to file my taxes at the Jackson Hewitt cubicle at the Pompano Walmarks and get paid $$$. Sadly, my last employer Lakeview smugly informed me that they had not even started sending W-2’s out, and here I’ve been running home to check my mail everyday!

Let me assess my situation, things are lookin’ kinda ignorant:
1. Spent $80 in Walmarks on groceries, checking account balance is -$37.00 as I miscalculated my money and Regions said please give us $36 for overdraft now, those hateful bastards
2. Car insurance just switched over to Broward from Escambia, was $70 a month, now $168. That went on my poor credit card, I do have remaining credit though…the card limit is $750…I have charged only $748.11 🙂
3. I went to my second job (Irish work ethic) but was not allowed to sell my plasma as Fatima checked and re-checked my blood pressure: 140/110 and 138/108, lower # has to be below 100.
4. I’m in something of a pickle, 1/4 tank of gas, 2 hampers of dirty clothes that need the laundromat ($18 right there)…
I could’t even ask him out on a date if I did discover Mr. Right on the interweb or out walking the dogs or at the library (not that there’s much of chance of that happenin’ anyways) and while I obviously wouldn’t want to pay for dinner I like offering to pay, I’m not the guy that turns a blind eye or runs to the restroom when the bill comes.
So it appears me and my bitches are going all reclusive this holiday, just chillin’ at the crib, watch my Ravens & Patriots, walk to the library or to the basketball courts in Riverland or Shady Banks maybe…maybe Mr. Right will be cruising around in his silver Range Rover and discover this talent…or it’s equally possible that I’ll get robbed walking around downtown or out Davie Blvd. I lead a wild, dangerous and horribly unfulfillingly life, what can I say? 3rd ward Magnolia ya heard

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