Tags

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Lesbian Bitch

When I went to pick out my new baby at a kennel in rural Alabama, the owner invited me into his house and led me down into the living room. In a big baby playpen there were two litters of French bulldog puppies playing, nine puppies, all seven weeks old. There were two or three black puppies, a few brown, a light tan one, and one white puppy with a big black spot on it’s back. I noticed this puppy was slightly larger than the rest, more active…and she was not being nice to her littermates. She pounced on one of her brothers and knocked him over, then rammed the smallest puppy (the tan one) with her head, shoving her across the playpen while she squealed and cried. When the white puppy saw us she ran to the edge of the playpen and stood up, screaming and whining and imploring to be picked up, which the owner did. “That’s part of the problem right there” he said as he held her. “Every night I put the puppies to bed and they all go to sleep, except her, she screams and cries until my wife comes and gets her and puts her in the bed with us. She’s a smart little thing.”
I like to think I know a little bit about dogs, and one thing I do know is that when choosing a new puppy, you’re supposed to pick one in the middle, not the alpha or the runt. The owner hands the puppy to me. This pot-bellied little grunting pig was the boss of this pack, no doubt…I should probably choose one of the brown puppies, still…this thing is white and black, she’ll match my two Bostons, she’s female (only girls for me…dogs I mean) she’s smart…One test they advise doing with a puppy is to hold it in your arms like a baby, on it’s back with it’s belly exposed…if the puppy will stay still and be held it will likely be a good dog, because it’s secure and comfortable enough to let it’s guard down. I try this with the puppy. She is bucking and whining and going all stiff like a child that’s been punished. I try to rock her and hold her but she screams REAL loud like a hyena or something. I put her back in the playpen where she immediately pounces on one of the other puppies and lays on top of him, trying to chew on his ear. I have to have her. French Bulldogs have big ears, but they have to grow into them, this puppies’ ears are still all droopy and not standing up yet…she looks like a little cricket. Cricket.

I end up paying $2400 for my little monster (like $900 more than her siblings cost) and she is mine! I was a little worried that one of my Bostons was going to bite her when introduced, but it turned out I didn’t need to worry about her. Possum ran right up and stood over Cricket and I think assumed she would naturally be the boss, but instead of rolling over onto her stomach or crouching down Cricket gave a little scream and butted Possum square in the chest. Possum didn’t know what to do, she backed up a little and then went and jumped on the couch. Cricket followed behind her, rumbling, grunting. Cricket stood up against the couch trying to get to Possum, but she was too little and fat and uncoordinated to get up there. Possum and Squeak were both looking at me all accusatory, as if saying “What the hell?” “What is this thing you brought home?” Just like that, Cricket was the pack leader and baby alpha, at seven weeks old.

Squeak was, and is, my favorite baby. Cricket and Squeak soon became inseparable, co-dependent, a couple,right now they’re curled up asleep together on my bed. Cricket is very protective of Squeak, who is super sweet and gentle and maybe not too smart. I can’t take them to the dog park anymore. Cricket guards Squeak with such jealousy and possessiveness… and love. No dogs, males or bitches, are gonna get next to Squeak, not while the smartest, most dominant, biggest (32 pounds) greediest and butchest lesbian bitch ever is in the house…I love you, Cricket baby!

CRICKETjohn4 please... grrrrr IMG_0202 IMG_0034 IMG_0250 IMG_0257 IMG_0217 Oct 25 Meetup 333 600_10456280 rumpus2 auburn suxi'm the baby

Advertisements