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Gift of the Magi, without a man

Let me see, it’s Valentine’s Day….I have $23 in my checking and $19 cash. I would like to be treated to a nice dinner this evening, somewhere all romantic and whatnot, please and thank you…hmm. I have to do my laundry, clean underwear being a necessity on the dating scene, so that’s $16 at le laundromat. I have to get my hair cut, the hair on the sides of my head is sticking out everywhichaway, and they are predominantly grey…no, no, gots to go, $22. In good conscious I simply cannot go out on a date with $4 in my pocket, what should I do? Clean underwear is a tenet I live by, off to the washateria, maybe I can gel my hair down or bouffant it up into a beehive or something. Now I am simply waiting for a man to ask me out on date! and come get me and pay for dinner w/dessert…and maybe roses?

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