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It’s a Thursday night, I am sharing some time with a gentleman admirer at his palatial estate on the water. We are in the throes of passion, passion of a nature so torrid and exhilarating, passion that only I am capable of inciting in men…it’s on and crackin’, until my friend looks up at me and says “Oh my God, you’re spurting blood!” I look down, and indeed my penis is bleeding profusely. WTF? How did this happen? The answer is right there in front of me, on this gentleman’s leg: his insulin pump has come undone and the needle has apparently sliced through the underside of my…my manhood? I jump up and head to the bathroom…blood, blood drips, drips on the ultra chic and assumably uber expensive carpet. I jump in the shower, leaving a trail of bright red droplets in my wake. My friend only has these super nice huge monogrammed towels, white of course with his initials. I ruin a couple of them along the way, blood blotting you know…

I made a joke that I thought was funny “Lucky for you it’s me bleeding all over you and not some *Corner Pocket hustler* you picked up” but my friend was not amused. We staunched the bleeding, the cut wasn’t real deep, and since we had not yet finished what was started…like countless women who have agreed/given in/acquiesced to sex with horny men at that special time of the month, I laid down two of those already bloodied monogrammed towels and 3 minutes later we was done, ya heard? If it’s a race like that, winning…Post climax, we agreed we weren’t into any kind of blood or vampire gay fetish bullshit either, ok? My only concern now is in consideration of men, all men. Before this vicious baby slice, I had the prettiest penis in North America, dozens of men can testify to that…now I got scar tissue and damage, will my dick still be the prettiest one at the ball(s)? I’ll just have to expose myself around Florida (again!) and see what the men say…I’ll tell you this though, I am NOT going back to prison…1 strike, 2 strikes: no more for me!

*My friend says he has never even been in the Corner Pocket, he vehemently,vehemently denied all that*

ins3

insulin 2

needle pump

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