So it being the full moon or whatever, I was already depressed and crazy heading into this weekend. Genius that I am, I decide to go see Fruitvale Station at Baywalk (alone of course). So what happens happens in the movie, and all the black women and myself start to cry. I slowly walk back to the parking garage after, still crying. I cry some more on the way home. I understand that I’m not just crying over the movie anymore, I’m crying because I’m lonely, because I don’t have much to look forward to, because I’m no longer young and cute and everybody’s first choice, because I still love my ex, because what if this as good as it gets? I eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, pop a sleeping pill and escape to dreamland…maybe there I’ll be happy.
I buy some boiled peanuts, Nap Champa, some fresh fruit and a funnel cake. I pass on the $5,000 Virgin Mary & baby Jesus mosaic, $4,500 stuffed buffalo, $650 sickly looking bald Chihuahua, $200 stuffed? Chewbacca head and the $99 Mexican babies…flea market = me.
When I was in the third grade I thought that I was gay,
‘Cause I could draw, my uncle was, and I kept my room straight.
I told my mom, tears rushing down my face
She’s like “Ben you’ve loved girls since before pre-k, trippin’ ”
Yeah, I guess she had a point, didn’t she?
Bunch of stereotypes all in my head.
I remember doing the math like, “Yeah, I’m good at little league”
A preconceived idea of what it all meant
For those that liked the same sex
Had the characteristics
The right wing conservatives think it’s a decision
And you can be cured with some treatment and religion
Man-made rewiring of a predisposition
Playing God, aw nah here we go
America the brave still fears what we don’t know
And God loves all his children, is somehow forgotten
Paraphrase a book written thirty-five-hundred years ago
I don’t know
If I was gay, I would think hip-hop hates me
Have you read the YouTube comments lately?
“Man, that’s gay” gets dropped on the daily
We become so numb to what we’re saying
A culture founded from oppression
Yet we don’t have acceptance for ’em
Call each other faggots behind the keys of a message board
A word rooted in hate, yet our genre still ignores it
Gay is synonymous with the lesser
It’s the same hate that’s caused wars from religion
Gender to skin color, the complexion of your pigment
The same fight that led people to walk outs and sit ins
It’s human rights for everybody, there is no difference!
Live on and be yourself
When I was at church they taught me something else
If you preach hate at the service those words aren’t anointed
That holy water that you soak in has been poisoned
When everyone else is more comfortable remaining voiceless
Rather than fighting for humans that have had their rights stolen
I might not be the same, but that’s not important
No freedom till we’re equal, damn right I support it
We press play, don’t press pause
Progress, march on
With the veil over our eyes
We turn our back on the cause
Till the day that my uncles can be united by law
When kids are walking ’round the hallway plagued by pain in their heart
A world so hateful some would rather die than be who they are
And a certificate on paper isn’t gonna solve it all
But it’s a damn good place to start
No law is gonna change us
We have to change us
Whatever God you believe in
We come from the same one
Strip away the fear
Underneath it’s all the same love
About time that we raised up
And I can’t change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
She keeps me warm
We were attacked today by a horrible, evil monster. My specially trained attack dogs fought this alien? off. They were bitin’ and growlin’ and howlin’…and that grasshopper was spittin’ everywhere! Working as a team, they cornered it and crunched it dead, ya heard?
OK now he was close, tried to domesticate you
But you’re an animal, baby, it’s in your nature
Just let me liberate you
Hey, hey, hey
You don’t need no papers
Hey, hey, hey
That man is not your maker
I can’t disguise I was hypnotized
Lost a track, struggled back
I wanted easy stuff to please me
Something in the dark began to squeeze me
Seen it, there, been there in the mirror
Totally focused, no hocus pocus
Dare I give in to this thing gripping my skin
To win, thinking how to add
The lights of a car go by in the stream
Seems like I stand pretty much unseen
But I open my eyes and beams
Gimme, gimme, symphonies
Gimme more than the life I see
Score adds up
Lets my loneliness get blown away
Where are we? What the hell is going on?
The dust has only just begun to fall,
Crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling.
Spin me ’round again and rub my eyes.
This can’t be happening.
When busy streets amass with people
Would stop to hold their heads heavy.
Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don’t believe you.
You don’t care a bit. You don’t care a bit.
the recognizable hook at 2:54…
Abigail Breslin, Asa Butterfield, book reviews, books, Ender's Game, fiction, gay, Hailee Steinfeld, Harrison Ford, john jernigan, movie reviews, movies, Orson Scott Card, science fiction, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay
Probably my favorite true science fiction novel, about to be a major motion picture starring Harrison Ford as Ender’s mentor…mentor me as well please sir.
The story of “Ender’s Game” is set 70 years after a horrific alien war, and follows an unusually gifted child sent to an advanced military school in space to prepare for a future invasion.
“In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him. I think it’s impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves. And then, in that very moment when I love them…. I destroy them.”
“I think that most of us, anyway, read these stories that we know are not “true” because we’re hungry for another kind of truth: the mythic truth about human nature in general, the particular truth about those life-communities that define our own identity, and the most specific truth of all: our own self-story. Fiction, because it is not about someone who lived in the real world, always has the possibility of being about oneself. ”
“I don’t care if I pass your test, I don’t care if I follow your rules. If you can cheat, so can I. I won’t let you beat me unfairly – I’ll beat you unfairly first.
– Ender ”
“Because never in my entire childhood did I feel like a child. I felt like a person all along–the same person that I am today.”
“Ender Wiggin isn’t a killer. He just wins–thoroughly.”
disclaimer : The author, Orson Scott Card, is a homophobic asshole and nothing he wrote after Ender’s Game is worth a shit…but this first offering is awesome nevertheless.
Card makes no bones about his stance. In an essay in the Mormon Times, he writes that gay marriage “marks the end of democracy in America,” that homosexuality was a “tragic genetic mixup,” and that allowing courts to redefine marriage was a slippery slope towards total homosexual political rule and the classifying of anyone who disagreed as ‘mentally ill.'”
Walmart Paula Deen I have known, specifically her Ooey Gooey Butter Cake. For a minute I was all panicked that Paula’s train wreck of racism might affect my refined palate if Walmart dropped her, but who am I kidding? Just about everything in Walmart except food comes from China, and I have heard from a reliable source that Walmart is about to roll out a very affordable line of Chinese babies (live, female babies). I do invest in four original ooey gooey butter cakes just in case, and spend this fabulous Saturday night eating them in bed watching Malibu’s Most Wanted and reruns of Big Bang 😦
I am sort of resigned to being alone, just me and my babies. I have fallen into this routine of the dog park and flea market on Saturdays, then a double feature at the movies on Sundays. What’s so sad is there are so many men out there that I kind of love, they’re just all unattainable, taken, don’t like me back: Mark in Boca, William in Alpine, Geoff B. in Tallahassee, Steven in Oviedo, Jeff in Orlando, Stephen in Pensacola and now Forrest in Birmingham…all of you are supposed to be my husband, hello!? Somebody love me please, I’m tired of being sad and lonely…what if this truly is as good as it gets?