I’ve cut out ice cream and I’ve been playing basketball almost every day. I have lost 20 pounds, and almost almost have a six-pack. I have a dating profile on OKCupid, and I have been on a few dates in Miami and Fort Lauderdale…that stunk. I have also had my fair share of the gay sex (including great fun with the OCD schoolteacher from Wilton Manors who took these pics). I am ready to be swept off my feet, somebody love me!
*ain’t my flower collections in my glamour shots
1. Take Me To Church – Hozier
2. Let Her Go – Passsenger
3. Stolen Dance – Milky Chance
4. Prayer in C – Lily Wood
5. The Hanging Tree – James Howard & Jernnifer Lawrence
Demons – Imagine Dragons
All About That Bass – Meghan Trainor
Habits – Tov Love
The Heart Wants What it Wants – Selena Gomez
Red Eyes – The War on Drugs
Bailando – Enrique Iglesias
Chandelier – Sia
Two Weeks – FKA Twigs
Seasons – Future Islands
Never Catch Me – Flying Lotus
No Fun – The Presets
Sunlight – The Magician
Night Changes – One Direction (haters gonna hate, but I love this song, reminds me of 70’s folk)
Slave to Love – Bryan Ferry (definitely not new, but one of my all-time favorites. I was delighted to hear it playing throughout thesce ne where Finn Wittrock picks up and then murders Matt Bomer, who was playing a gay prostitute in American Horror Story Freakshow).
3 rolls of paper towels: $1
silver colander: $1
2 medium toothbrushes: $1
Mischief t-shirt: 50 cents
grey camo shorts: 50 cents
Edge shave gel: $1
Florida Gator mug: 50 cents, and in the words of the immortal Jay Cutler “don’t care” Roll Tide
Ricola cough drops 50 cents
Folgers Gourmet light roast coffe: $2 By the way, the LIGHTER the roast the more caffeine remains, people think they have to order dark roast or espresso and the caffeine is backward from that
hamburger dill chips, for frying: $1
Lebron 9’s: $10 gently worn, don’t judge!
Fresh pineapple & watermelon: $4
Lots of wigs
A sleazily well-written gay Lolita, with an gay alcoholic 16-year from Kentucky as our protagonist. Reading it as teenager years ago, I remember being shocked and turned on, a little repulsed and a lot impressed. I just picked it up again, reading it in one marathon 4-hour jaunt. It has stood the test of time quite well, still a little creepy but like all of Russell’s books grabs your attention and keeps it. Paul Russell is one of my favorite authors, in addition to Boys of Life other great reads of his include The Salt Point, Sea of Tranquility, War Against the Animals and The Coming Storm.
Paul Russell quotes:
“Just because you pretend the universe doesn’t have teeth doesn’t mean you won’t get eaten in the end”
“I’ll put it to you simply: love is the enemy. That’s my conclusion. We should all live in our little monk cells and never venture out”
“Waiting, he thought, was the most miserable condition a man could find himself in. His whole life, he had been waiting for one thing or another”
“He wanted to toast mad idealism, forbidden desires, the dreams that drove one to criminal acts. He wanted, quite starkly, oblivion”
“When he got a story urge, there was nothing to do but grab a pen and write. Otherwise it was too much like getting a hard-on and not jerking off”
I’m a Jedi foodie, my cultured and refined palate likes some Lime Cucumber Gatorade, Cinnamon Sugar Pringles and potted meat (it’s BOTH chicken and pork meats, ya heard). Banana Goliath, hot-off-the-grill arepas, pinkberry chocolate hazelnut with strawberry and mango boba, I am a culinary master. #gordonswife John-Jernigan Ramsay
The White Party was last weekend, Art Basel is this whole week, and the Book of Mormon is about to start a weeklong run…sadly, budgetary constraints and the Man keeping me down will not allow me to enjoy these fun things that homosexuals like. I can still go flea market shopping though, look at all my Treasure! From the Swap Shop in Fort Lauderdale, ya heard?
A pound puppy monkey, a old chimpanzee Curious George? monkey, and Po the Teletubbie (George stunk and burst when I put him in the wash) $1 each, $3
Tupac and Gina Cascone memoirs, 50 cents each, $1 #tupacisalive
Total toothpastes, $1 each, $3
A black cat that Cricket has already halfway murdered $1
2 pink harnesses, one is Martha Stewart, $1 each, $2
A pair of 5 pound barbells, so i’ll be all swole and have muscles, $1
2 George Foreman grills, $1 each, $2 and both work fine!
A Cupcake Brown memoir and A Beginner’s Guide to Martial Arts, 50 cents each, $1
a baking pan $1
3 boxes of Nag Champa $5 I haven’t burned Nag Champa for quite a while, and my luck has been crappy…maybe burning it again will change my karma or something
*not pictured: 2 Mountain Dews, a sesame cake, a grape snow cone, a corn dog and 2 arepas
“They ain’t got nuthin’ for us big girls.”
“I only like the big one” (she’s talking about Khloe).
“Me and Lamar smoked a rock together in 2009, at In & Out on Crenshaw.”
“The finest bitch outta of all them is the white one” (Bruce, Cricket, her name is Bruce).
Cricket has always represnted for the big girls